please can this spread like wildfire?
please can this spread like wildfire?
No more excuses.
I will forever reblog this
It’s sort of horrifying that we all know what they’re talking about without them really saying it.. that it’s become that much of a norm in our society that we just know.
/SHAKES ON THE FLOOR IM HAVING
AN ART ATTACK
OMFG I… I will try this out asap wow
Need to raise $650 for a lifetime membership to a MatchingDonors.com that will greatly increase my chances of finding a live kidney donor.
The Ninja Song (ORIGINAL MUSIC VIDEO) (by smpfilms)
I hope they get the money to pay for the surgery. :( Get well Tony!
DO YOU HAVE STRAWBERRIES TRYING TO CONQUER YOUR HOUSE? TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP, BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO MAKE SOME GODDAMN DELICIOUS STRAWBERRY PIE!
I’M A LAZY SHIT RIGHT NOW, SO JUST FUCKING GRAB A PRE-BAKED PIE CRUST FROM THE STORE! OR MAYBE YOU’RE TOO METAL FOR THAT, THEN YOU CAN FUCK EVERYONE AND MAKE A GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST FROM THIS RECIPE.
WHATEVERTHEFUCK YOU WANT
TAKE 2 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES AND THROW THEM AT YOUR KNIFE COLLECTION UNTIL THEY ARE PERFECTLY SLICED. PRACTICE YOUR NON-EUCLIDIAN GEOMETRY, THEN PUNCH A VAMPIRE IN THE FACE AND BUTTERFLY KICK THEM INTO THE PIE CRUST
TEACH SOME ORPHANED GOLDFISH HOW TO PLAY SOCCER, THEN KICK ANOTHER 2 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES INTO A FINE PASTE. THE JUICES SHOULD REMIND YOU OF PAST BATTLES AND THE TORN FLESH OF YOUR ENEMIES.
SMELLS LIKE SWEET VICTORY.
BREAK INTO A STARBUCKS AND RETRIEVE ALL THE SUGAR PACKETS, OR QUEST INTO THE WILD UNKNOWNS OF YOUR CUPBOARDS TO FIND SOME. SWEET-TALK 1 CUP OF SUGAR INTO JOINING IN HOLY MATRIMONY WITH YOUR STRAWBERRY MASH, THEN UNCEREMONIOUSLY DUMP THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER INTO A SAUCEPAN.
IT’S ABOUT TO GET HOT AND STEAMY UP IN HERE!
TELL THEM IT’S THEIR HONEYMOON AS YOU FLICK THE HEAT UP TO ‘MEDIUM’ AND STIR SLOWLY. WATCH AS THE SUGAR AND FRUIT FLESH DISSOLVES UNDER CONSTANT WAVES OF RISING TEMPERATURES. SMIRK AT THE INEVITABLE DOOM.
WHEN IT STARTS BOILING AND FLINGING BITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE, TURN THE HEAT DOWN TO ‘LOW’ AND TURN YOUR ATTENTIONS ELSEWHERE.
GET OUT YOUR RITUAL SKULL, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO MIX TOGETHER 3 TABLESPOONS OF CORN STARCH AND ¾ CUPS OF WATER!
USING TWO HANDS LIKE A TALENTED MOTHERFUCKER, STIR THE STRAWBERRIES WHILE YOU ADD YOUR DAMN CORNSTARCH WATER. HOLD ON TO YOUR ASSHOLE, BECAUSE THIS REQUIRES PATIENCE!
THE ‘ADDING’ PROCESS SHOULD TAKE NO LESS THAN 1 MINUTE! DROP SOME IN, STIR, REPEAT. NONE OF THIS DUMPING SHIT.
AFTER IT’S ALL SWIRLED TOGETHER AND SMELLING LIKE HEAVEN JUST SQUATTED IN YOUR KITCHEN AND RUBBED ITSELF ALL OVER YOUR FACE, COVER THE FUCKING POT AND LET IT SIT FOR ANOTHER 10 MINUTES ON LOW HEAT.
GO WRITE SOME EXPLICIT FANFICTION ABOUT ME AND THAT PIE MAKER WHILE YOU WAIT. GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL MACHINE! FUCK!
AFTER YOUR TIMER HAS A HEART ATTACK, POUR YOUR STRAWBERRY SAUCE ALL OVER THOSE SLICED ASSHOLES STILL CHILLING IN THE PIE CRUST LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG IN THE WORLD.
PROVE THEM WRONG AND SHOVE THEM IN THE FRIDGE FOR 3 HOURS! COMPLETE ISOLATION, THEY’LL NEVER BE THE SAME!
IF YOU WANT TO BE A FANCY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU CAN ALWAYS ADD EXTRA STRAWBERRIES ON TOP, AND SERVE WITH WHIPPED TOPPING.
Daily-Green now featured on Fab.
Daily-Green has a lot of love for this lush little planet of ours and wants to spread it around. Designed for use as a terrarium or a fishbowl, the easily mounted Wall Deco is an acrylic vessel that can (literally) bring life to your walls. What living, breathing embellishment will you put inside?
US Brown Bear now featured on Fab.
Growl! These flat screen mounts are wildly strong (and quite cool). Designed by U.S. Brown Bear for maximum mobility and easy installation, these low-profile mounts and LED lighting strips safely support your entertainment system and provide a rainbow of ambient light to turn your living room into a party zone.